Momversation Sample 3 - News Commentary

Are you worried about cocaine money?

I live in Los Angeles which - according to research done in Massachusetts - means every single dollar I have has cocaine on it. It also means every single dollar I give someone, accept from someone, find on the street or in the cushions of my couch has also been contaminated by the illegal drug.

Now, I'm not exactly worried about this because I'm not going to be snorting my bills or rubbing them in my mouth but it's still shocking none the less. Even here in California, where drug use is an every day occurrence, it's incredible to think about. Is cocaine really so prevalent that every single bill in circulation has been in contact with one that has had direct contact with cocaine?

This is like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. If Kevin Bacon was a really expensive narcotic.

The irony is that this CNN story actually makes me less worried about health risks and more worried about the mental health of the nation. If enough people are doing drugs that 90% of the bills in circulation are contaminated with cocaine, there are a lot of very unhappy people out there. And that means there are a lot of really bad parents out there.

So be good to your kids, moms, otherwise they might turn to cocaine. Then give you the dollar bill back.